Hate it or love it, Carnaval is here

 From the Sidelines

Hate it or love it,  it's "Carnaval" time in Panama. For the haters, the hell began on Friday (March 4) as  the setting up of  the Cinta Costera hub of the in-city festivities caused one of the worst traffic jams in recent memory.

 Now that's a challenge, but try  one and a quarter hours  driving from  Parque Urraca , to  the Dana restaurant  near Extreme Planet, a 10 – 15 minute walk, and you will get some idea of the frustrations faced by city drivers. 

Those who made the decision to locate the event on the  waterfront somehow forgot that on a regular Friday afternoon thousands of cars stream out of the capital, heading for the beaches,  but on the  eve of Carnival, the numbers quadruple, and closing off three lanes of westbound traffic on Avenida Balboa  in the early afternoon would be a recipe for chaos, and it was.

Hundreds of cars took to side streets, regardless of one way signs,  to try to dodge the log jam, and ensured that the chaos spread through most of the city.  Remember that old  saying that used to sit on office desks: –  "ThinMk scheme and plan aHead" with the final letter falling off the edge of the frame holding the sentence? That was carnival traffic planning.  

But that was Friday, and for a few days March 5 though 8,  the city should be a driver's paradise. Thousands out of town, many restaurants and businesses closed, no school buses and many diablos rojos taken their last annual vacation. By next carnival we are told, they will be gone,

For those not deterred by crowds, noise, and drink waving celebrants, the carnival is on, so watch your wallet, your purse and your camera and enjoy. There will be extra police, medical staff and food inspectors among the 250,000  expected to attend. The official title for the event  is: "Carnival of the City.Enjoy What's Yours, Panama.". Those, more parsimonious with their words just call it Carnival.

Each afternoon around  four o'clock (Panama time) there will be a themed parade with the newly chosen Carnival Queen, 21-year old  Yinniea Yerro Torres reigning over the masses.

If you want a free shower, arrive around 10 a.m. when the culecos (water sprayed from giant hoses on to the madding throng) go into action and continue throughout the day.  Health authorities have marked the  water trucks with certificates of approval, meaning the liquid has been chlorinated …but don't wear your Dior outfit.

The Carnival themes are:

Saturday, March 5 – "Nuestros Mars" (Our Seas); Sunday.

Sunday, March 6 – "Dia Tipico" (Typical Day …traffic snarls?)/

Monday, March 7 – "Flora y Fauna" (no translation needed)

Tuesday March 8 – "Panama Puento del Mundo" (Panama, Bridge of the World)

Santo Tomas Hospital, said to be far enough away from the bacchanalia to be safe from noise pollution, will have extra staff on duty, and maybe again in the  maternity wards in nine months time, in spite of the 15,000 condoms that are being distributed. But that's Carnival. It's the pre-Lenten letting off of steam, carnal desire and more, before fasting , penitence and paying the piper while the liquor and beer companies count the take  ….. enjoy.